I don't want to live like this anymore

by The Weight of Water

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released May 26, 2019

Music: Daniel Tremel, Dominik Schmaderer, Kevin Aschauer, Manuel Weißenberger, Thomas Hackl
Lyrics: Thomas Hackl
Mixing & Mastering: Daniel Tremel
Album Art: Daniel Tremel




The Weight of Water Vienna, Austria

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Track Name: Class for itself
The migraine kicks in
And you're just halfway through your shift
At home packs of bills and pills are waiting for you
Your tiredness allows for nothing but mere getting by
And everyday you're grinned between stress and meaninglessness

This fever is burning
Right through your veins
The only thing keeping
You warm through these days

Though tension is rising
To drown in your job
Be good and productive
Keep working hard

But you won't be tied down now
By these old chains
This is your life
This is your love
This is your pain
You rise up

Who's now burning

Cover your faces
Take to the streets
Burn their cathedrals
Bath in relief

Storm into factories
Keep all your fruits
No tears for the past cause
Now tears were not shed for you
Track Name: Dig an Ocean in your Backyard
You get up
And go down
You put water on the stove
You watch it boil
You drift away

So you see
How you left
Some friends that you call home
You take your back, you take your leave

So when you
Took off
Did you know you gonna change
You changed for good
You changed at all

All of these flashlights
All of these bright eyes
Being here takes you now further from where you’ve always been
And you just feel
And you just think
And you try not to be at any other place

You get back
Nothing’s changed
But yourself
Or that’s what you keep trying to tell yourself

So what is next
A poor excuse
To go back
Pick up from where you’ve left and

When you finally get there
Will it really be where
You can lie down and rest without think of the demons in your head
Or will you run
Or will you see
Or will you stop the old and ever in between

Stay afloat
Change this place
Make it home

Not wasting up
All these empty days
All these sleepless nights
You’ve been growing thin for years
You feel your heartbeat
A little softer here
A little harder there
A little harder

No more night outside of Bangkok
No more night outside of Bangkok
You still escape
No more night outside of Bangkok
From yourself
No more night outside of Bangkok
No more night
You board a plane
No more night
You still escape
No more night
From yourself
No more night
No more night
You are my anchor
Track Name: 4th of June
Oh these blood soaked stones
Oh these bullet holes
Oh you caring father
Oh you weeping mother

Beijing, China, late spring 1989
Years after Mao's death and the end of the
cultural revolution, students and trade
unionists take to the streets and demand
democratic participation and social justice
They occupy the gate of heavenly peace in the
center of the city
This is their story

The iron rice bowl is broken
They beat it to coins
You're weeping on doorsteps
It's filling the void

We've made a thousand banners
And took them to the streets
Set tents up for the night shift
We’re chanting for relief

Our bodies been the ocean
Our hearts been strong for weeks
This place now holds a million
We're far from being weak

The tigers shouting out
Bout tanks upon the streets
We're building up these walls
This is where we'll

And now they move in
And we see them
Forming lines
Pointing rifles at these young kids
Hou Dejian says that we should leave now
Or they will pin us to the stones

Will everything now perish
Under these crushing chains
Will people be remembered
For what they did this day
Is heaven's peace upon us
In these nights of guilt and shame
In Beijing's blood red streets

And now they move in
And cut us up in halves
And sweep away what's been left
Of our days
Our makeshift song
Is in decay
And in a sudden
These men put me to the grave
Track Name: Golden
So I sail away
From this old town
So I sail away
From this bone church

So I sail away
From this dark house
So I sail away
From these old smokes

So I sail away
From my family
So I sail away
From my memory
So I sail away
From my family
So I sail away
From you

I sail away from
Track Name: Saint Peter and the Snow
I'm sitting on the couch
And she tries her best
To make me see all these things
That I recently forgot
The things I do
The things I managed to do
And how in the end
Everything seems to work out

And through all this time I felt you
Inside my head
How you sang of love and promise
Lying in bed smiling
And all the words that gild you
I hope you keep them save
I won't take them back

After years and months
I'm left with little to no idea
About how we got each other
So profoundly wrong
I won't be a better person or lover
After these days in the snow

Just increasingly growing disconnected
To myself, to family to friends
To what I wish to be
I'm just watching while myself
Is slowing slipping through my fingers

Did your honor really stay
Or were you able to make a change
All the best now to you
I'm so sorry I didn't stay
Couldn't stay

I'm not lying down in bruises
I stray around
Having stones inside my stomach
They keep me down
But I won't let you cut me open
And take them out yourself
These stones are anchors now

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